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I’ll be brief: try it. I’m loving it so far. How is it this fast? Even Safari 3.1 doesn’t compare.

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Turn to page 5 of today’s Economic Times for the most ridiculous, puerile, poorly-researched coverage of the new iPhone, what it means for consumers and the usual spec countdown. Of particular note, the box item mentions that OS X is vulnerable to virii and malicious attacks, much like Symbian and WinMo. BlackBerry OS is, “of course”, excluded. Brilliant.

And it gets better from there. One of the stories is about Airtel’s “techies” being super-confident that their built-in security measures will ensure that swapping SIMs remains an unattractive alternative for iPhones bought from Airtel. Their claim is that while it may be possible for “hackers” to use Airtel’s iPhone for voice calls, they will be left out in the cold for the new, Airtel-exclusive features including Airtel Live and Google.

I don’t even know where to begin with this article. It’s grossly inaccurate in some parts and utterly banal in others. From Airtel’s perspective, what it reads like: “You can buy it and put another SIM into it, but you won’t be able to access our overpriced ringtones, news alerts, wallpapers and assorted crap. Because that shit is on an internal network. So you can’t get at it from elsewhere. We call that security.”

Tech reportage at it’s finest: by the feeble-minded, for the feeble-minded.

I have no idea how many people are buying, but the newspapers are full of stories about the pre-emptive grey market and its better pricing. For first-gen users, Apple released a carrier update sometime post-midnight today. I have no idea what it does, since the 2.0.2 update still doesn’t fix the caller ID issue for India.

There is some indication that first-gen iPhones should now be unlocked on Airtel and Vodafone. Can anyone confirm this?

As I expected, both Indian iPhone carriers have announced their pricing. As a subscriber of both networks, it was uncanny to me how the two communicated their plans to prospective customers. All website content, newsletter text and images have been identical. Apple must have their jewels in a very tight vice.

All in all, I’m left with a bad taste in my mouth. They’re trying to drum up some hype with midnight availability, early bookings with part payment and availability in tony areas of town, but it just isn’t the same. You can’t wish a long line of eager customers into existence with a Rs 31,000 base price. Without 3G or GPS routing.

Hat tip to Angad for this article on Tech2.com. The news is also on Techtree.com and infotech.indiatimes.com.

The executive summary: 8GB for Rs 31,000 (about $730) and the 16GB will retail for Rs 36,000 to 37,000 (around $870). This is without factoring in the accompanying voice/data plans.

I don’t know how credible these numbers are, but I would not be surprised if they are accurate. Why?

• There are no subsidy models in India (or if there are, they don’t amount to much)
• There are no alternative revenue streams for mobile providers that could potentially offset a handset subsidy (VAS revenue-sharing is cream, not bread). Apple doesn’t give carriers a cut in the App Store/iTunes.
• High-end handsets launched by carriers have traditionally carried insane price tags.
• The most recent high-end launch by Airtel—the HTC Touch Diamond—retails for Rs 27,500.
• BlackBerry devices, despite requiring relatively expensive data plans, retail for a minimum of Rs 24,000.

From a brand/positioning standpoint, it would be unjust to price the iPhone 3G lower than the average BlackBerry or HTC handset. Vodafone and Airtel have painted themselves into a corner. I don’t anticipate big sales numbers—quite likely less than the erstwhile grey market for first-gen iPhones. My fervent prayer remains that I am all wrong about this, but I can’t think of another scenario, without forsaking logic.

Winner: Apple. Hustler: Carrier. Loser: User.